I struggled with making the best decisions for the most part of life. There was this inclination to think that I always made bad decisions on my own and whenever I would make a good one, I chalked the decision up to either chance or following someone else’s advice. However, chance doesn’t exist; instead, it is a word that is used to illustrate probability. R.C. Sproul states, “Chance has no power to do anything because it simply is not anything. It has no power because it has no being.”[1] Everything that happens in the universe is due to a decision, and according to the book of Proverbs, even the roll of a dice (Pro 16:33).
Also, it is wrong to think that because we make a decision that was recommended by another person, that we lose credit for making that decision or are somehow not responsible for its outcome. The idea may have come from an outside source, but the decision comes from us. To deny that is to deny our will. Big companies spend a lot of money on research and data analysis because they understand how important it is for their yearly goals and strategies. The quality of a decision is relative to the information it is based on. To make the best decisions they need the best resources available. An individual may not have the time or money to invest in such intel, but every person can make the best decisions by utilizing simple guidelines on how to hear counsel, receive instruction, and accept correction.
Hear Counsel
“A wise man listen to advice” (Proverbs 12:15)
Advice nowadays is not hard to come by, everyone has an opinion, especially with the many platforms available for people to express their thoughts. Believe me, the irony of my words does not escape me as I write this piece. I understand that extracting a sound point of view from the dross of mere sentiments can sometimes be disheartening. After all, getting advice doesn’t mean you are getting a solution to the decision you are trying to make. Advice is something you collect, mix and match like a good outfit, and there is no, “one size fits all.” There are many to choose from and you may even have to try some on before committing. My aim is to help you filter out the bad and consider the good. When hearing advice, the most important element to consider is the relationship you share with the person giving you the advice.
When I was in the tenth grade, I was taking a computer class. This was before the internet existed and computers were huge boxes with monitors that took up an entire desk. I soon discovered that I had an aptitude for programming and my teacher noticed as well. He separated me and a couple of other capable students in order to give us more challenging assignments. One day upon walking into the classroom, he pulled me to the side and was holding a printout of my grades. To my surprise, the grades were not from his class, but rather, from my other classes. He advised me that if I wanted to succeed, I needed to do better in my Science and English classes, where I was not earning the “A’s” like I was with him. As frustrated as it was that this teacher was not satisfied with me simply doing well in his class, it taught me the difference between a teacher who cherishes his students versus one who is just filling a position. Even my guidance counselors didn’t influence me the way he did, and the difference was that he cared.
Good advice will always come from someone who genuinely cares about you.
This can be a family member, a teacher, a pastor, or a friend. Proverbs 27:9 states that, “the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.” Someone who is genuine will not impose their opinions on you and would rather tell you they are not sure of something in lieu of giving you bad advice.
Another relational indicator that lets you know if you are receiving reliable advice from someone is whether or not the person will benefit or be impacted by your decision in any way. Everyone is familiar with overly enthusiastic sale representatives who will stop at nothing to convince you to purchase their product. Similarly, some people may offer their unsolicited advice to you as if they are trying to sell you on their ideas, which makes you wonder if they have ulterior motives. Fortunately, they are usually easy to spot. In contrast,
when asking someone for advice you should always consider those that have a vested interest in your decision.
They may not directly benefit from it, but even if they will be impacted in a roundabout way, then you should surely consider their perspective. This is especially true if you are part of a team, live with family, or are part of any communal grouping. These are the people that know you the best. They have a unique point of view because they have been with you in varying circumstances. They call you out on your irrationality and they celebrate your victories. The reluctance to ask such a group of people often comes from dreading what they might say. In that situation, what you’re looking for is not advice, but approval. If you don’t want to ask those closest to you, then in reality your decision has already been made.
Ultimately, when it comes to counsel,
you want someone who is connected to you relationally and also has some experience in what you are dealing with.
A simple example of this is when you need medical advice, you can technically turn to any professional with a medical degree. However, only your primary care doctor knows your history. His relationship with you, along with his expertise, makes him the best candidate. If you take the time and ask the right questions, you will find that people connected to you have gone through similar situations. They have experience, and often times, they want to share it. The decision-making process begins with hearing advice. To guard yourself from being flooded with too much of it, selectively hear those that care about you, that know you, and have gone through what you’re going through. After sorting out all the choices, you can move on to the next step of the process.
Receive Instruction
“Listen to my instruction and be wise. Do not disregard it” (Pro 8:33)
The decision-making process does not end after simply sorting out some advice and choosing one route. You may have chosen to engage in the path of a certain decision, but the process has only begun.
To choose is to will, but to decide is to fulfill. A decision is the practical application of a choice.
Important life decisions will take time to develop and you will need step by step instructions for many of the moving parts. Ignoring these instructions will make you doubt your decision before seeing results. It’s important to have a mentor or someone you trust give you sound practical steps to apply the advice you’ve received. Preferably someone with proven results in what you are trying to accomplish. When following instructions, pay close attention to each step and always have the end result in mind.
I lead a team of dedicated volunteers who are responsible for handling all the equipment used for set-up and tear-down of our weekly church service. From time to time we receive new equipment that requires assembly, and the first thing I look for in those packages is the instruction manual. The item I ordered online oftentimes looks different coming out of a box. Proper assembly requires focus and concentration to make sure each instruction is carefully followed. Also, instructions come in an ordered manner. As you complete each step, your progress is affirmed. This is like making sure that each screw in the assembly is on securely before moving on.
Each step of an instruction is an important link is the chain of success.
It’s helpful to follow a sequential process when following instructions because it allows you to measure your progress and build confidence as you approach the finish line.
This step of the decision-making process is not like choosing between different opinions. The options are greatly reduced, if not completely eliminated, and you must follow the instructions. You cannot skip over any steps, because the last thing you want is to miss something important. Like a person assembling furniture who might have some screws left over, skipping steps will cause you to not trust the final result. And, trust is an integral component. You have to trust that the instructions are correct and that all needed parts are there for completion. You also have to trust that the steps you follow will bring the desired results. More importantly, you have to trust the person giving you the instructions. After you’ve heard some sound advice, sorted out the ones that best fit your needs, and you’ve carefully studied and applied the steps required; there is one last element to consider before your decision can be a success.
Accept Correction
“Whoever loves correction loves knowledge” (Pro 12:1)
Correction is part of the decision-making process. Often times science and theology can be at a discord. Be that as it may, one thing I admire about the scientific process is that it doesn’t presuppose a fact, but instead draws a hypothesis and is willing to correct it as many times as needed. By doing so it acquires a wealth of knowledge. A nineteenth century inventor named Thomas Edison exemplifies this process. The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia notes that, “In the period from 1878 to 1880 Edison and his associates worked on at least three thousand different theories to develop an efficient incandescent lamp.”[2] Many of us are familiar with Edison’s quote, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” This was his answer to a reporter admonishing him on his lack of success while perfecting his famous nickel-iron storage batteries.
I am not suggesting that you treat your life decisions as a science experiment, but be aware of your presuppositions. It may be hard to discover that you may have made the wrong choice or maybe missed an important step, but do not be discouraged for you are close to the finish line. When I started this article, I made a reference to chance and how it doesn’t exist. Rather, it is a way for us to explain probability. I made the statement that everything that happens in the universe is due to a decision. Proverbs 19:21 states, “Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.”
Your decision doesn’t end with you, it ends with God. He will always have the last say.
Know that God uses people and circumstances to correct you, so be mindful of this as you navigate through your decision.
Correction will make your decision better, and although this might humble you and make you feel like you won’t get the credit for your accomplishment, nothing could be further from the truth. It takes a lot of determination to be willing to re-adjust some things and maybe even start again. The deception is to believe that the decision-making process has failed at the first sign of your choices and steps encountering some difficulty. Too many people cast judgment on their decisions based on temporary results. Making a decision is like choosing a direction to head towards. As long as you are still moving you can make as many detours as needed. Until you actually give up or arrive at your destination, then it’s not over. Because you see, giving up is also a decision.
That you may be wise
“Hear Counsel, receive instruction, and accept correction, that you may be wise in the time to come” (Pro 19:20)
The biggest accomplishment is not in the outcome, but in the process. Not giving up, learning, and improving are the best rewards. This means you are growing. You are becoming wiser and better equipped to make future decisions for yourself and others. What you are going through now is meant to prepare you for what’s coming ahead. With every decision-making process you persevere through, you are now an expert on that matter. Someone will come to you for advice, and another will rely on you for instructions.
[1] R.C. Sproul, Not a Chance: God, Science, and the Revolt against Reason. – Revised and expanded edition / R.C. Sproul and Keith Mathison 2014, (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Publishing Group, 1994), 22 [2] The Franklin Institute, “Edison’s Lightbulb,” (The Franklin Institute, 2020), Retrieved from https://www.fi.edu/history-resources/edisons-lightbulb
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